Too Human

So Tony rented Too Human at Blockbuster yesterday. We took it to the Xbox and, well...we found out the reviews were actually too kind instead of too harsh. After two hours of gameplay both of us were incredibly underwhelmed with Silicone Knights latest game. The graphics are definitely made for the last generation with bloom effects. Baldur (the main character and the one you control) is ugly (even though in legend he's a looker) but beautifully voiced by Crispin Freeman.

The gameplay is unintuitive. Complete bollocks. You basically mash the right analog stick to make stuff happen or twist it around. Very annoying. Trigger buttons are for your useless guns. The camera is fond of looking at the floor instead of enemies. Your companions are useless. During prompts to jump on enemies backs it then refuses to tell you what to do next, and button-mashing results in nothing. Tony finally got frustrated enough to let me have a go, and I randomly twisted the sticks until something happened. The first boss fight against Grndl (ha ha ha...) yielded the last straw as it was ridiculously unbalanced against you. When you "die" you get an unskippable cutscene of a Valkyrie reviving you and then you continue the boss fight. After two of these we were done. Also the retarded level trees, constant upgrades (literally, more time is spent deciding what weapons and equipment is better than actually playing the game) and useless character classes were just annoying. Thanks for nothing, Silicone Knights.

The game is a resounding "meh". Tony's mad he spent the eight bucks on it at Blockbuster, much less those poor bastards who were duped into buying it for the sixty dollars required. Pretty much just wishing Silicone Knights had abandoned this project for Eternal Darkness 2: Electric Bugaloo.